Why Are We Doing Sexual Ethics Training, Now?
Each month, the Rev. Dr. WIlliam Dobbs, Michigan Area Clergy Assistant to the Bishop , answers your most pressing questions about the Michigan Area of The United Methodist Church. If you would like to submit a question to be answered please email him at bdobbs@miareaumc.org.
Sometimes these burning questions come with more heat than others, and this was one of those times. The clergy person who got my ear turned out to be only the first of several, but they were certainly the one of the “warmest” I’ve heard from recently. “Why,” they wanted to know, “do we have to do sexual ethics boundary training now, after all these years? Whose idea was this anyway? And where do you get off saying that my appointment will depend on having this training? Is this the Bishop’s idea?” I’ve edited out some of the even more heated and sometimes surprising expressions, but I think you get the essence of the pastor’s burning questions.
Sexual Ethics Boundary Training is not a new idea nor was it this Bishop’s idea. It was a decision of the General Conference that has been on the books for at least 20 years and has been reaffirmed at each of the subsequent General Conferences since. It is for clergy under appointment in the United Methodist Church and is meant to offer three-fold protection. First, it is meant to provide protections for the members of our congregations. People in our churches have a right to expect our pastors to know and respect professional and personal boundaries. Sadly, our clergy have not always known or respected the boundaries of laypersons in and beyond our congregations, but that is all the more reason why we should do everything in our power to help people feel safe in our churches.
Secondly, it is meant to protect clergy by providing tools for pastors to use as they try to navigate the ever-changing expectations on them these days. Single clergy and married clergy, young clergy and older clergy – all of us need help trying to bridge the gap between being “caring” on the one hand and “stand-offish” on the other without doing harm to others or to self. And for those of us who are older it is often compounded by the fact that this was not part of our seminary training. The subject, if talked about at all, usually came under the heading of “don’t!” This is not to say that there was no discussion about the subject. It’s just that there was very little beyond the anecdotal story or whispered gossip and none of that was very helpful for forming appropriate boundaries. The younger clergy that I have talked with about this tell me that they have covered some of the information in seminary, but not much was presented in depth and most of them report still feeling under equipped for being a solo pastor in a first appointment.
Lastly, it is meant to provide protection for the Church and those in leadership. Not just protection from lawsuits, either. No one wants to be sending under-equipped clergy into situations where they can do great damage to their congregations and to their own careers. There may very well be persons in the clergy who will intentionally abuse their position and power in the future, even as some have in the past. But when and if someone does cross a boundary, we don’t want it to because they didn’t know where the boundaries were or how to establish and maintain them. So we will do everything we can to offer all clergy in the Michigan Area the opportunity to receive relevant and helpful training and we will expect them to take advantage of this training for their own protection and for the protection of the people who come to them for pastoral care and teaching. Then we – Bishop and Cabinet - will protect the Conference and the Church by not appointing people who have not taken advantage of this training. This is not meant to be punitive or “hard-nosed.” We need all our pastors. But we need them to be the best pastors they can be, and this is one thing that we as a conference and an area can do to help them achieve this goal.
Finally, let me offer you this word of help and support. If you are still having a question about this training, either because of the schedule of it or because of the mandatory nature of the training, please give me a call. I won’t promise to “fix” your problem because I don’t have that level of authority. But I will promise to find a time to listen to your concerns, and I will do my best to find you an answer to your burning questions.
Comments